I have a lot of brilliant ideas. Seriously, I’m a smart gal.
For example, this morning, as I was falling toward the floor (face first, mind you), I thought it would be a brilliant idea to grab ahold of the couch to keep me from falling.
While my flat iron was still resting on the arm.
Because I like to do my hair while sitting on the couch.
And because I’m an idiot who, even though she unplugs her flat iron, LEAVES IT ON THE ARM OF THE COUCH.
Needless to say, as I fell to my doom in slow motion, my hand desperately clawed at the arm of the couch, but instead was met with the ugly sting of OH MY GOD MY HAND IS ON FIRE BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE I AM SHAKING THE HAND OF SATAN IN THE MIDDLE OF HELL.
Of course I still got a face full of hardwood flooring anyway. And a burned hand. I tried to grin and bear it. I told Patrick I would be okay, and we loaded up in our car and headed down the GW Parkway into the District for work. We didn’t make it beyond Reagan National Airport before Patrick finally convinced me that the fact that I could feel my heartbeat in my left hand was not exactly a positive. And that I might require some medical attention.
So I finally arrived home.
Let me show you how much our good for nothing dog cared about my injury which has rendered me gimpy and useless:
The only time he got excited today was when he thought I was getting up to get him treats, or water, or to feed him.
But really, no. No, I was not doing any of those things. I was trying to disrobe so I could go to the bathroom effectively. (This takes about 10 minutes each time.) I was trying to make a sandwich with one hand. I was trying to open a bottle of pain medication with only one hand. As soon as he figured out that I wasn’t getting him squat, he sauntered away, disinterested.
That fat bastard of a dog.
With his big stupid ears.
He probably doesn’t burn his left paw on a flat iron, though. Meh.
Typing this post one-handed took an hour and a half.
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For so many reasons…God bless you!
I don’t know how long you’ll be one-handed for, but you may want to look into purchasing dictation software. Dragon NaturallySpeaking is really good (I bought a version for myself 2 years ago) and would save you a lot of time.
Weird offer: I’ve had to be one-handed on and off many, many times. If there’s something you’re having trouble figuring out how to do, feel free to send me an email and ask. I can’t promise I’ll have a good answer, but I might be able to help.
Um, ouch.
Feel better!
(Though that is totally something I would do too so I get it)
At least you didn’t have to cut it off. See, I can be optimistic about anything!
Feel better.
i hope your hand is healing well!
Oh goodness. I once burned the tar out of several of my fingers pulling a pizza out of the oven (and it wasn’t even good! AT ALL.), and that sucked about as hard as any other injury I’ve ever had. Hope your hand feels better soon!
Oh my goodness. I know it’s really not funny, but I’m sorry, I’m laughing so hrmard right now! Because I know exactly what it’s likely to foolishly injure yourself while your dog simply looks on unsympathetically, hahaha. Once I grabbed the wrong end of my curling iron while doing my hair for a party at my house – ::shudder:: The whole night I had to keep my hand wrapped around a glass of ice… With a vodka cranberry too, of course. All I can tell you is that the pain will eventually subside! But don’t worry, ther personal humiliation lasts forever.